By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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