he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my poor anus
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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