i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
