i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So much rum. So many feels.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize