how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
