What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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