That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
