he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
