She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
