yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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