if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Please, let me fuck your mom
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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