Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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