break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
