Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
