you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
