Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
