Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize