We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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