Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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