Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
