apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
