Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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