He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
