There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize