I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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