This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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