I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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