if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
