I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
