Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
