Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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