didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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