In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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