The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I need moral support for this bender
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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