hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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