uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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