While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
