when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
two words: eviction party
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
