Your tits are I can't wait for
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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