Do you still have your period?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
