shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
