Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
