The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
