I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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