On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
