Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize