I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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