she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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