$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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