i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
