fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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