beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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