also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
