Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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