to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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