im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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