My brain says no but my pants say off.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
