No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
