last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize