You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's rum buckets o'clock
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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