She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
