My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
