You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He passed out mid-signature
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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