I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My bed smells like the plague
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
