you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
